She Passed

My kid passed tonight. From what I understand this is one of the biggest challenges faced by transgender people. And tonight, at five years old, in a pink twirly shirt and brown leggings with striped ruffles at the ankles he/she passed.

We had met an African American man in the kids section of a department store who told my youngest his new rain boots were "fly" earlier. This gentleman, in his forties, and the father of five (two grown, three at home) raved about the red rubber boots, giving my baby some of the attention usually lavished on my oldest.

Later when my husband had taken my oldest to the bathroom, the little one and I were wandering around. We heard someone coming and as we turned to greet our returning family members, I saw it was not them, but the same friendly man from the kids department. He saw us and realized who we were waiting for, he said, "They're coming! Daddy and your sister are coming!" He high fived my fly little one while I stood there in awe and excitement that this milestone had occurred.

I suppose this isn't the first time, people see what they expect to see. Someone sees a cute kid in pink clothes and black Mary Janes and generally assumes it is a girl. Despite the messy, awkward growing out haircut. This is the first time though, that it has been verbalized.

The irony, (Is it irony? Alannis has forever confused me!) is as they headed into the bathroom, I overheard Kegan say, "We will go in the men's room, because we are both men." What I didn't hear because it was said as the door closed behind them was Kegan saying, "But....I am probably a girl."