Saturday, September 20, 2014


Last night as I was hugging Kegan good night, I started playing with her hair and realized her hair is at that almost long enough to put into a super short ponytail or pigtails. I said, "You know what? I think your hair is almost long enough," and before I could finish she said, "To put it into a ponytail?!?!"

I don't know why her enthusiasm surprised me, I mean this girl is so all about looking like a girl. I don't think we have talked much about her "hair plans" beyond my hopes to finally master a good French braid for her.  I don't think I realized that she may be thinking about long hair and how to fix it.

This morning we pulled together two super cute pigtails. They are the ones that basically stick straight out with mismatched lengths of hair giving them that chunky, choppy look that I think looks as cute on a six year old as a hipster 16 year old. (Not so much on a 40 year old Mama though!) She still needs barrettes for the front and sides and it is messy, but she loves it. I will have to see how I can finesse it into acceptable for out and about...but it does look so cute. And she rocks it.

Just another otherwise simple milestone that seems so huge.

I am off to find some bobby pins. (Kidding. Not kidding.)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Lovely Blog Award

Michelle over at Because I'm Fabulous was one of the first people to reach out to me when I started writing about Kegan. Even though we live in different countries, have a great age divide between our kids, and have never met she sends me virtual hugs and kindness frequently. And I really appreciate it.

Michelle is an awesome mom to her gender nonconforming child, Jeremy. Zie is one lucky 17 year old kid to have such an awesome mom! She says zie is fabulous, which I am sure zie is, but Michelle seems pretty fabulous herself.

So anyway, she nominated me for:

Which is very thoughtful! And now I need to share seven unknown facts about myself on this blog. Which might get tricky given that this is like a top secret, eyes only kind of blog. (Insert "heh-heh-heh" here.)

1. My best friend and I send hundreds of texts to each other every week, but have only talked on the phone three or four times in nine years of knowing each other. Yet she is the person I am closest too of everyone I know in real life besides my husband and kids. She knows all my secrets and has held my hand many times without ever touching my skin.

2. I feel obligated to explain that my husband is my first best friend and my best friend above is my best girlfriend or something along those lines. Because apparently I am in third grade,

3. I talk a good game to my kids about choosing kindness, choosing love, being the good in the world, being a helper, blah, blah, blah...but at the end of the day give me a book or movie about Vampires and I will pick the vamps over the humans every single time.

(I just re-read the rules and evidently I just need to share seven facts about myself...they don't have to be secret..although I don't think that helps with this list creation very much!)

4.  I am very loyal, like a dog.

5. Dishonesty is my deal breaker.  I would much rather hear the difficult truth than be lied to. Every day of the week.

6.  I am so thankful for kids like Jazz and thankful for parents like Debi Jackson, they make our world more aware and hopefully more accepting of trans* people. But as much as I would like to stand next to them at the podium and share how awesome Kegan is, I don't foresee that happening until Kegan is much older and only if she initiates it. If she wants to be stealth her entire life, then I am on board with that and because that may be her choice, I will be stealth until asked otherwise. This is her story, I am just a supporting player and while my role is greatly impacted by her, I am well aware that she is the lead in this tale.

7. My goal every day is to be kind. To everyone: my kids, my husband, the grumpy tollbooth collector, the friendly receptionist, the stressed out little league coach....and everyday I fail. Not completely, but I still need much more practice to perfect this art.

Now I am supposed to nominate fifteen blogs...but I do not read fifteen blogs! I actually only read one or two blogs and not even everyday. Instead I will just thank Michelle again and thank Kat Carpita at Dandelion Fuzz for sharing her story because her son is FTM and sometimes we have a lot in common.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Officially Our "Normal"

Today I learned that I have officially moved into the "normal" of having a daughter. Kegan had a doctor appointment with a specialist we check in with every year or so. While we were waiting to meet with the doctor, her fellow came in. I have not met this fellow before, but I knew she had read the chart because they are super thorough. I had not made an announcement about Kegan's transition but they knew to call her by the correct name (and did) based on the "alias" created by the universal e-record system several of the local providers share. (And maybe my polite reminder to the friendly, non-fazed receptionist.)

So the fellow came in and greeted Kegan by her correct name, we all exchanged the "Hello's" and "How are you's?" common in our world. The fellow then sat down and asked, "So, how are things? Any changes? What's new?"

I literally looked at her, paused, thought, and then replied, "Ummm, no, nothing really, no changes."

She looked at me a little perplexedly with a slight tile of her head, to which I looked back at her, and then after a few seconds, said, "Ooooooh! [insert awkward, "I am a clueless mom" chuckle] Yes, Kegan has transitioned."

Is it totally awesome that I completely forgot that this is kind of huge news? I am thinking that yes, it is totally awesome. I knew we had completed the "transition phase," but this just takes things to a whole new and better level.